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Life By The Dreams

Snow

Today is January 17 and we are barely into Winter, not sure what the rest will hold.

Today was a Snow Day for myself, my boys and my hubby. I originally had the day off to take the Little Man in for an appointment for his ears – to have his tubes checked. Well that was cancelled so I will have to reschedule that for another day.

We found out last night that the schools would be closed today. So I would of had to stay home if I had not already had it off.

The hubby tried to go into work this morning. The kisses goodbye were given, he left through the garage. I heard the garage door close and I went about feeding the Little Man. Was just going to be a normal stay at home day but then I heard the garage door open. It made me stop, it made me think. What the heck was going on? Next thing I know the hubby is walking through the door.

“Babe, it is a no go for me. Can’t even get out of the neighborhood because of the ice on the roads and I was not the only one having issues. There was a small box truck and a van trying to turn around because we can’t get out. I was slipping and sliding just trying to get back to the house.”

So it ended up being a snow day for all of us. We all finished up with breakfast, got dressed as best we can to go have some fun in it before the sun came out to melt it.

You see we live in the South, Georgia to be exact. A lot of people tend to make fun of us when we close our business and our schools for a little bit of snow. But I think a lot of people don’t realize that we are not equipped to handle this type of weather. We don’t have the trucks to salt/ sand the roads as needed, we don’t have the tires to grip the roads, we don’t have chains on our tires, we don’t have the coats/ gloves/ hats to allow our children to stand out and wait for their buses. These are just a few I am sure there are more that we just don’t have.

But I would rather have my family safe and sound. Yes, I may be using up vacation days sitting at home. Yes, it may seem like I can get out and do stuff, but when the roads are dangerous, my house is safe. The local Sheriff’s office (as of 4:45pm) had already reported 41 accidents dealing with the ice on the roads. 41. Just the county that we live in. I have no idea what the counties around us are dealing with because I know some of them got hit worse than we did.

I would much rather have my family safe at home then possibly in a car that slips on the ice and one or all of us get hurt.

At this moment, I have no idea what tomorrow holds in regards to if schools will be open, the issue I see happening is the sun came out to start melting some of the ice/ snow but it is not going to get above freezing so the ice/ snow will just re-freeze to the roads and we may have to deal with this again tomorrow.

Let me tell you some stories of previous snow issues we have had. Stories of people I know personally.

  • Recently, as in a few weeks ago, maybe a month by now. There was a snow storm that came through. It did not effect us but I have a friend that got over 6 inches of snow, I know others who got close to 10 inches. Power went out for days. Not horrible but it is a lot for the south.
  • A few years ago, remember Snowmageddon. Well, there was a lot more snow this time, over a larger area. Of course worst in some places than in others. There where school buses that were unable to make their drop offs and kids were stuck on buses for the night. There were kids that were stuck in schools for the night. There were people stuck in their cars over night with nothing to eat or drink or ways to keep warm. I actually had a friend who was stuck in his car for almost a full day over night (don’t remember the exact time frame).
  • Snowmageddon – my hubby was coming in from a family funeral. Had actually arrived in Atlanta but because the airport ran out of de-icer for the runways, he had to be re-routed back to Charlotte, NC – where he got stranded for a few days. I was at the airport waiting to pick him up. He was able to call me as soon as he knew they were being re-routed and I immediately left. What normally takes about an hour or so to get home, took me over 2 hours. I had to get my dad to go get Aden from daycare since I had no idea when I would be able to get him. Luckily I made it to my parents to get Aden and then home, where it was the 2 of us for a few days.

So I guess you can say that I would rather places be overly cautious. But that is just me. But I will continue to read peoples comments on social media as to how they think we are ridiculous for our over abundance of caution.

I am going to sit and read a book, play with the kids, make dinner, get a fire going. Enjoy an extra day to spend as family because we know those are few and far between.

Thanks,

Marisa

Edit: @11:00pm I was on social media just now and saw a report that stated that a nearby county had 600 accidents due to the snow/ ice today. 600. I can not even believe it.

Photo Credit: Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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Pause

I apologize for the slight pause in writing that I took. But with the holidays and my old computer crashing and needing to make sure to save everything I needed off there – then ordering a new one. Life has been a little crazy.

Life appears to be on the course of staying a little crazy for a bit.

I have the boys who keep me well entertained and busy (Aden is in Kindergarten – homework). I am still writing for that online magazine. I am going to get started on a project for a friend before the weekend is out. I am working on some other things.

But I hope all had a great Christmas and Happy New Years.

I hope to be able to get back on the track of writing these weekly blogs that I have all of – like 5 followers. But I guess that is better then none. Got to start somewhere.

Thanks for sticking it out with me and hope we will have a great year ahead of us filled with all kinds of fun, adventure and exciting things.

Thanks,

Marisa

 

Edit: I should really do some research sometimes. I actually have 18 followers. Way more then I thought. I appreciate all of you.

Photo credit: Photo by Pana Vasquez on Unsplash

Gifts

The Christmas season is upon us.

The season of giving.

The season of togetherness.

The season of love.

The season of family.

The season of decorating.

We have decorated our house, not to the full extent as we have in the past as we tried to make sure everything was “Gavin-proof”. So far he does not seen as into touching anything but we have yet to put the ornaments on the tree – hopefully that will be something that we do this coming weekend.

As the Christmas season gets closer and closer, I am grateful for the gifts that I have every day.

The gift of life.

The gift of breath.

The gift of sight.

The gift of my husband.

The gift of my kids.

The gift of my family.

The gift of my friends.

The gift of having a job.

The gift of having a dream come true.

The gift of being able to work towards other dreams I have.

Sometimes we get so caught up in what can we purchase for those in our lives. Will they like it? Am I spending enough? Did I put enough thought into it? Don’t get me wrong I have these same thoughts but sometimes it is nice to be thankful for the gifts we have each and every day because there are so many people out there that don’t have it as well as we do and yes there will always be those who have it better them us.

I am like any other person/ woman out there, I like gifts, I like to be surprised. We need to not take these moments for grated. The gifts that come daily and the gifts that someone put a lot of thought into and thought about us as they picked out that special object.

As this season continues upon us, take a moment and think about those not so fortunate because they are out there and they are grateful for the gift of waking up. The gift of breathing. The gift of having loved ones around.

Take a moment to think about those who may be missing someone in there life.

Take a moment to think about those who may not be able to afford gifts, decorations.

Take a moment to think about the fact that every day you are gifted with something, we just tend to not think about them as they are the “norm”.

I am not saying to not buy gifts for your loved ones, but realize that any gift from the heart is meaningful – price, size, quantity does not matter. It is the thought, the effort, the love that matters.

I will send the next few days thinking about gifts to purchase my family but I will also think about the gifts I have and I will help those less fortunate when we can.

Thank you,

Marisa

Grateful

Today is Thanksgiving. The time of lots of food and time with family followed by getting ready for some shopping. No I am not one of those who goes out Thursday evening/ night but I do brave the crowds on Black Friday.
Every year I see people writing what they are thankful for – I get it, it is that time of year. But this year as the holidays near, my heart hurts a little knowing who is forever missing. My Drake.
This year I wanted to take the time to tell some people close to me why I am grateful for them – I could go into all kinds of details as to why I’m grateful for these people.
I’m choosing to say why I am grateful for them in regards to all they did for me during that time Drake was in the hospital. Maybe it is my way of saying thanks because I honestly don’t remember if I ever thanked them for all they did.
I’m going to apologize now if anyone feels I forgot them, please know it was not on purpose, it is just some of those days are a blur of sadness and tears.
– Joel: I am grateful for being with me every step of the way during that hard time. No one had any idea what we would be expecting and I am so grateful that I literally had you to lean on and to go through all the sorrow and hard decisions with. I could not have done that alone. I am grateful that we allowed this to make us stronger as a couple instead of pull us apart.
– Mom – I am grateful that you were able to be there with us each and every day and I am grateful that you understood that sometimes we just needed to be with Drake as a family of 3. I appreciate all the help that you personally gave me during the time I had to take care of me in regards to the fact that I had just given birth.
– Dad – I am grateful that you came as often as you could, after work and on the weekends. I am also grateful that you decided to memorialize him with your Peanut tattoo.
Shannon – I am grateful for you coming as often as you did, which seemed like everyday or close. I am grateful for the meal train that you organized with our friends so that was one less thing we had to think about after Drake passed away.
Rachel – I am grateful for you coming up every weekend to be with us and help us.
Iris/ Jim – I am grateful for the fact that you got Jim’s deployment changed so that you could come down and meet Drake and spend time with him and us.
Uncle Ronnie – I am grateful for you making the trek all the way down here to lend us your support during this difficult time.
Nicole/ Kevin – I am grateful for you guys coming down to meet Drake and showing your love and support for us during that time.
My Boss – I am grateful that you put our minds at easy by letting me know that where I needed to be was by my son’s side and my job would be safe until I could get up the courage to come back.
Nurse Tracy – I am grateful for you being one of the best nurses he could ever have. You treated us so well during such a hard time. I am grateful that you came to be with us on your day off when we chose to take him off his ventilator.
All the other Nurses – I am grateful for all the help that you provided our son during that time, the kindness you showed him.
All the other People who thought about us – I am grateful you took the time to think about us in our time of need and tragedy.

So this years I’m thankful but I am also grateful because all though I miss him each and every year (holidays being hard) – I am grateful for the time I did have with him because I know there are others who did not get 12 days with their child, their baby.
As you are enjoying family and food time, take a moment to remember/ think about the family members who are missing.

Much love on this Thanksgiving,
Marisa

Props

Mad props.
I mean mad props to stay at home parents and single parents. This coming weekend I will get my second taste of what you guys deal with on a daily basis.
My first attempt, I remember leaving me quite exhausted.
My kids are fairly good but it is still hard to take care of them both by myself. I don’t know how you do it.
So mad props to you guys. (Me clapping.)
The hubby left today and will not be back until Saturday. With Aden in school, we are unable to pick up and go as frequently as before. We do not want him to miss any days unless necessary.
There are plenty of days I wish I could stay home with Gavin and be able to do more with Aden and his class, stuff around the house, projects I have, etc.; but since I work and I need to work in order to help pay those pesky bills, I can’t stay home and I can’t do everything with Aden’s class – although I do try to do as much as I can.
Yes, yes I want to be one of those moms.
Anyways back to me giving mad props to SAHPs and single parents.
These 2 weekends I am only getting a small taste of what you guys do daily.
It is definitely hard taking care of both the boys by myself and I can only do as best I can. Now that Gavin is more mobile – he is all over the place. Mr. Independent.
I love my boys with all my heart.
So this weekend I will be doing my best to keep them alive. Just kidding. I am an old pro at that. But entertained. That is a matter into its self.
I need to see if there is anything going on that I can take them to. Try and entertain them for a few hours if possible. If not I need to think of ideas around the house. Time to put on my thinking cap.

Now to help keep my sanity, I am currently baking. Baking what you ask.

Yep, some yummy brownies. Don’t tell my hubby cause there is no guarantee that there will be any left by the time he gets back home. Haha.

I know this is a short post because in the end there is not much I can say since I am not a stay at home mom, just wanted to give a quick hand to those who do.
Now I am going to go enjoy a brownie or two or the whole pan.

Thank you,
Marisa

PS – Recently I had 2 articles get published.
http://stillstandingmag.com/2017/11/fear-of-forgetting/
http://stillstandingmag.com/2017/11/am-i-dead-inside/

Done

Recently I was asked:

– Are you going to have anymore kids?

– Are you pregnant?

I was asked by the same person (thanks mom 🙂 love you) – one question right after the other. The answer to both is a resounding NO.

I get it after we had Drake and Aden, we confused her so she’s unsure if we are really done this time or surprise you might be a grandmother again.

But this time it is the truth.

How did we confuse her you ask?

I will explain that and why we are now officially done adding to our family of 5.

CONFUSION

Joel and I from the beginning of our relationship knew that we only wanted 2 kids – the typical boy and girl. But when Drake passed away we were devastated to say the least but we were left in a bit of uncertainty.

You see when a couple makes a decision on how many kids they want – they never ever think about what happened to us occurring. We never did so when Drake died, we were left in confusion. We wanted 2 kids. We had one, so would the next be our last. We knew there would be no answers at that moment.

But here we were – we had a child but we didn’t have a child.

Then Aden came along. Technically he was our second but the only one here. So do you start to see the confusion that was playing in our minds. 2 not 2. 1 not 1.

After Aden was here for a couple of years, Joel and I sat down to discuss

– Did we want more kids?

Answer was still confusing. At that point in our lives, it was decided that we were not going to have any more kids – we thought we were done. But you see there was a reason that we made that decision at that point. Joel was in the middle of getting his masters degree through online classes and quite often on the weekend I would have to keep Aden out of the house for several hours in order for Joel to do school work. That would have been very hard to do with 2 kids in tow.

At that time no future kids was the right decision but we had also discussed that we would not do anything permanent to not have kids at the time just in case we changed our minds later. Hey we are adults, we are allowed to change our minds if we so desired.

As Aden got older and I got older, I realized that I did want to have another baby. I wanted 2 to hold. 2 in my arms, 1 in my heart. Talk about trying to get up the courage to talk to your hubby about that. It took me a few days – maybe a week or so. I had no idea where he was. After the original discussion the baby topic had not been brought up again.

So we talked (we talk about almost everything – it is who we are as a couple), we both wanted another baby. 2 here. 2 with us. So we went from having 2 kids to having 3 even though the world only sees 2.

Once it was decided that we would try for another baby, we did give ourselves a deadline as to when to be pregnant by because we were not getting any younger. As it was with the other 2, it did not take us long to get pregnant with child. Gavin. Our little man.

DONE

I know we are done having kids for a few reasons:

– We are not getting any younger – we are both 36.

– We always wanted 2. 2 here with us. We now have 2 with us.

– Physically I am unsure how my body would do with a 4th pregnancy – you see I’ve had issues with each of my pregnancies.

Would I love to have more kids? Yes. I love being pregnant. I love babies/ kids. I love my boys. But we are at a good point in our lives. Content.

With our 3 boys our lives are full and we plan to enjoy every moment of it. (We know the delicate balance of life.)

While we may have changed our minds in the past.

While we may have confused people. (Sorry mom.)

While we love our boys.

While I would love more.

We are done. No more kids for us. Because these 2 keep me on my toes. They exhaust me. In a good way, but still exhausted. I am happy in my life. I will always wish for the one missing but I have realized over the years that wishes don’t always come true and there is no turning back time.

So until next time,

Thank you

Marisa

 

 

Halloween

Yesterday was Halloween. It was a gorgeous evening here in the south. Perfect trick or treating weather. Cool but not cold. The kids were able to wear their costumes without having to have jackets over them to keep warm.

My Optimus Prime and Yoda my.

Every year since Aden was old enough to take trick or treating, I always go to my parents house and my dad and I would take Aden around their neighborhood. There are a lot of houses that participate. More then where we live. We kept the tradition going once Gavin arrived, although this is his first year to participate. Last year he just rode around in a wagon.

My dad always goes with me as I took Aden and now both the boys and my mom stays home to hand out candy.

I think my dad spoiled us this year. His knees are getting bad (as in he needs to have them both replaced) so we rode around on his Bulldog. I don’t know if I will be able to walk the kids trick or treating again.

Gavin is getting bigger and HEAVIER. So this was definitely the way to go.

Their neighborhood always gets hit up with a lot of kids, some kids that live there and others who don’t. It was fun getting to see some of the costumes as we drove around.

I asked my dad “Where are we going to go when you guys move?”

His response, “You can still come here, you guys still know a lot of the neighbors.”

Guess we will have to see once they move, maybe we will be in a different house by then and that neighborhood will have a lot of houses that participate.

I would have to say that my kids came away with a good haul.

Green bucket is Aden’s stash. Orange bucket is Gavin’s (aka Joel’s and mine) stash.

If Aden does like he did last year, he will share his candy with us. Gavin is a little to little to be eating all that, he can partake in some but most of it will be eaten my Joel and I. Don’t look at me like that, all parents dip in to their kids candy.

I am glad that my kids had a good time, it took a few times for Gavin to realize what was going on. He never held out his bucket, I helped with that. But it did not take him long to start reaching out for candy, quite a few people thought it was cute and funny. So they would put the bowl down so that he could grab some candy.

By the time we arrived back to my parents house, Joel had been there for a little bit. He was just hanging out with my mom and helping her hand out candy. We left a few minutes after getting back because it was late and pass the boys bed times.

When we arrived home, I took care of getting Gavin ready for bed and Joel took care of Aden. I dressed Gavin and made his bottle. He drank every drop and literally passed out.

Tonight while I was making dinner, Aden and I went through his candy to make sure nothing was open but also to take all the candy with nuts in it out. Aden is allergic to nuts, his is a consumption allergy. We let him trade the candy with nuts for candy without nuts from Gavin’s stash.

I hope that everyone had a great Halloween.

Now on to Christmas….. I mean Thanksgiving. Feels like Christmas with all the stores already having Christmas stuff out.

So until next week,

Thanks.

Marisa

Exhausted

Exhausted: (definition) – to drain of strength or energy, wear out or fatigue greatly

Yep that about sums up the last week of our lives.

I am unsure how I am even functioning most days right now. Just keep your fingers crossed that we are on the way to getting better sleep at night. It seems like that is the direction we are moving in and I will be so happy. I need sleep. I want sleep.

Have I confused you enough by now.

Why would I be exhausted?

Here is the reason: teething sucks.

Little Man aka Gavin already has 6 teeth but around last Thursday he started getting a fever and being fussy – a little more whiny, not as interested in food, waking up at least 3 times after he has been put down for the night.

You might be thinking – hey he is still a baby (only 15 months old) – babies get teeth. Babies don’t sleep well at night.

Here is why we are exhausted:

  • Whiny – ok, I get it. New teeth = pain. No one wants to be in pain and certainly no one wants their little one to be in pain. So I understand whiny – it meant more cuddles which I am totally fine with. Love it in fact since he is rarely still anymore since learning to walk.
  • Food – if you know this kid, you know that food is his favorite thing. What kind of food you might ask, well – we have yet to find anything that he does not like. Seriously, everything we place in front of him he will eat. There may be moments he may not want it at that time or it needs to be on a fork in order for him to eat it. (I know he can be strange at times. :)) We want to make sure he is getting enough to eat but it gets hard when you are offering lots and he picks one or two items that you wish were of more and better substance. At the moment as long as he is eating I guess anything is fine.
  • Sleeping – Here is the exhausting part. Let me tell you we have gotten off great with our boys and their sleep habits. They both started sleeping through the night at young ages (around 2 months old). Neither of them have gone through times they woke up for no reasons – usually it is just teething issues because of the pain (we do give medicine to try and relieve the pain). But when we are use to sleeping through the night, having a few nights in a row of getting up multiple times in the night to go comfort him it wears you down. I don’t regret my extra cuddle time with my little man who is growing way to fast. I just have been tired the last few days because of losing some sleep.

He started to get better last night. Only woke up twice.

Today there has been less drool and he has been less whiny – still picky with food but we have no idea how many teeth he might have coming in. I hope it is not as bad as it was last time. Did I tell you about the last time he got teeth. I did not. I am shocked I did not share.

He had one tooth for the longest time – months and months. No sign of any other teeth. I asked his doctor at his 12 month apt because I was concerned. I was told they don’t start to worry until 18 months. Ok, I can go with that.

Then there was a time he got whiny, fussy with food, bad nights of sleep – they only lasted a few days. They I started noticing the little bumps in his gums to indicate new teeth. He had 5 come in at one. Yes, you read that right 5. I was shocked.

So only time will tell how many this go around. I will try to keep you posted but no promises because well things happen and I forget. A lot. 🙂

So lets keep our fingers crossed that he is feeling better and that he can get some better sleep from here on out which means we can get some better sleep.

So don’t get me wrong, I understand his needs and I am there but it does not mean I am not tired or exhausted. It happens to us all at one point or another.

I love you guys, but I am off to bed to get some zzzzzzzs.

Thank you,

Marisa

PS – Next week is Halloween, looking forward to seeing all the costumes.

Life

I have experienced death over the years – I mean I am 36 so of course I have.

Aunts.

Uncles.

Cousins.

Friends.

Grandparents.

My son.

My side of the family as well as my husband’s side.

Most deaths we feel are natural as someone may have been sick for a while, someone may be getting up there in age.

But sometimes life throws you those curveballs that hit you in your stomach because you were not prepared. Totally taken by surprise.

Well we have been thrown that curveball – this past Friday we had a very dear person pass on my husbands side of the family.

His father.

My father-in-law.

I am not going to go into details as to what occurred or other details of his life and the relationship. As this blog is mine, I feel the need to talk to my husband and possibly my Mother-in-law to get a feeling if it would be ok to write about him sometime in the near future.

But I can tell you that since his passing, actually any passing close to me – it makes me think.

Think about life.

No one knows what will happen tomorrow.

No one knows when our time will be up.

This makes me want to make sure that I live a fulfilled life. I am a realist so I know some of my dreams aka items on my bucket list will remain on there as some items may be a little more expensive then what we can afford, some may be out of our reach.

I want to make sure that I have fun as a family.

I want to make sure that I make some of my dreams come true.

I want to make sure that I make memories that not only I can look back on but those around me can look back on when I am gone.

Life is not guaranteed – so make the most out of it.

A number of years ago, I came across a quote regarding death that has stuck with me and I use it quite frequently when I know someone has endured a loss and I want to share it with you.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,

Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

This actually came off a Irish tombstone.

My husband also has a quote that he likes – it is:

How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Thank you

Marisa

 

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